My ex would like to move abroad for a new job – how will this affect his relationship with our children?

Dear Marcie

My ex has been offered a really good job in Dubai. I can see why he wants to take it but I am worried it will damage the relationship he has with our two children who are 4 and 6. He has told me that he will have to go from having them half the time to only seeing them once every month for a long weekend. This also means that I will have to make lots more childcare arrangements for the children as they will be with me for nearly all the time and I have a busy job.

Best

SP

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Dear SP

This is one of those situations where life throws big changes at co-parents, and it’s natural to feel torn. You’re right to be thinking about the children’s relationships and routines—and also your own capacity. It sounds like you’re trying to hold space for everyone’s needs, which is an incredibly important starting point.

First, it might help to gently name the different impacts: your ex is making a career move, which could benefit the family financially or in the long term, but it clearly shifts the parenting dynamic and your load significantly. One way to approach the conversation is by being honest and collaborative:

"I understand why you want to take this opportunity, and I want to support your goals where we can—but it’s also going to have a big impact on our children and on me. I’d really like to talk about how we can plan for this in a way that supports their stability and well-being, and also makes things more manageable for me."

You might want to explore things like:

• How to keep his relationship with the children strong: regular video calls, storytelling over FaceTime, sending recorded messages, or even longer school holiday visits.
• How to support you: perhaps you need to have a conversation around the finances? If so and if you find it hard, you might want to work with a mediator to help with this.
• How to help the kids adjust: creating consistent routines, preparing them gently for the change, and validating their emotions.

You don’t have to solve everything in one conversation—but opening the door with empathy, and a clear outline of what you need to feel supported, can lead to more balanced planning.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Big shifts like this are hard. But by staying focused on shared responsibility and open communication, you give yourselves the best shot at making a tough situation work.

Take care

Marcie