I want to take my child on a work trip abroad but my ex does not agree

Dear Marcie

I want to take my 8-year-old with me when I go on a work trip to India. I can make arrangements for her for the two days I am working and then we can have a few days travelling ourselves. I think it would be such a great opportunity for us both. Unfortunately, my ex does not agree and says it is not suitable for an 8-year-old to travel to a country where there is a chance they could get ill. I want to try to talk to him constructively about this before he totally closes his mind to it but I am finding it hard to bridge the gap between my desire for travel and adventure and his fear of the unknown.

Best

TM, London

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear TM

This is a great example of the difficulty of managing the balancing act in co-parenting—navigating two valid but differing perspectives on what's best for a child is hard, but really important. First, it’s helpful to acknowledge that both you and your co-parent are coming from a place of care: you’re inspired by the chance for shared adventure and growth, and he’s motivated by wanting to protect your child from risk.

To keep the conversation constructive, try framing it as a collaborative exploration rather than a negotiation or a debate. For example, you might say:

"I’d really like to talk more about this idea with you. I know we see it differently right now, but I think there might be a way to meet in the middle that keeps our child safe and also allows them to experience something really special. Would you be open to looking at it together with me—things like how we’d prepare, what precautions we’d take, and what they could gain from it?"

By validating his concerns instead of dismissing them, you create space for a deeper dialogue. You can also share some practical reassurances—like travel insurance, vaccinations, child-friendly accommodations, and the fact that your child won’t be exposed to risks any more than thousands of other children who travel safely each year.

Finally, you might ask him what would help him feel more comfortable. That question can open doors you may not have expected—perhaps he just wants more information, or maybe he’s worried about something entirely different, like feeling excluded from such a big experience.

The key is to keep the focus on your shared goal: your child's well-being and growth. If you stay curious about each other’s perspectives, rather than trying to “win,” you’ll be more likely to find a path forward that respects both your instincts.

Take care

Marcie